Czechs and Balances

Chris and Amanda decide to Czech out Cesky Krumlov for a weekend...

On Friday night we came home drunk from our favorite bar O'Malleys and packed our backpacks for the Czech Republic. We had vaguely planned to visit Cesky Krumlov, a small town in the Czech Republic, but in the back of our minds we did not think we would actually succeed in this endeavor. We went to bed planning to get up at 9 and let our day begin.
First piece of magic: we woke up without hangovers! This was unreal, because the amount of drinking we did the night before (and the night before that, and every night that followed) was quite intense.
Second piece of magic: we had an instant message from Kathy Fallon telling us to go to the Czech Republic! With good fortune like this, how could we not follow through?! We hoped she was actually the conductor on our train.
Getting our coffee out of the machine we got a cab and went to the train station and got our tickets! Then we hopped a train to Linz and discussed whether Brad and Jen should reunite or not and do we actually like Angelina Jolie?
Quickly leaving Linz with our next tickets we hopped a train to somewhere that sounds like Cesky Buddapest and for the purpose of this thats what we're going to call it. This is where the fun begins.
We get off the train and its DOWNPOURING in this eerie creepy run down train station. We decide to go inside and get something to eat for lunch. This is the part of the movie where the creepy violins are playing and / or the Twilight Zone theme song. As we wandered around this dark train station we got a little creeped out. We split a sandwhich from somewhere that looked like it could possibly contain limbs? After this Chris declared we should split a beer too. Sitting on a stoop outside watching the downpour of the century. We attempted to sing about our favorite things, but failed. It was right out of a movie where we half expected to die half expected to just be sad. After taking rediculous pictures of ourselves and having more doubt about this trip , the rain stopped and things started to look ok...and then our train came...
...so we get on our train to Cesky Krumlov, or Czeczy Arnez as I fondly remember it, and its...small. Kind of like a bus. There are only a few people on it at first and two of these men seem to be equipped with full Gurilla warfare. Interesting. So then this group of 20 something school children who apparently have been backpacking and have not bathed in what smelled to be weeks get on. GREAAAAAAAAT. So our "train" takes off- 1 car, and we're already ready to get off because the smell is so intense. Next thing we know Gurilla man has a gun. A big old gun. So that was terrifying. So I decided to take a nap or try to because I can't worry about this right now and the next thing I hear is Chris going "Amanda don't open your eyes" so naturally I open them and the man is playing with his gun. And wearing a pentigram bracelet. Cool. With my luck, I'm going to accidently get shot in the face. Now I'm freaked and the tiny corner Chris and I are sitting in has no air in it and this might have been the longest hour of my life. I keep asking if each stop is ours but Chris tells me that no, this will be a large train station...
...or will it. We get there and its about the size of my room. We quickly flee from these Czech nutjobs and decide to get into town. But theres no one around and we don't know where we are. It's so quiet! Eventually we see a sign for a hostel called Havana hostel and since all Fisher Players have a tie to Havana, we take this as a good sign.
After wandering for a while and having a few "THIS DOESN'T LOOK LIKE A STORY BOOK PLACE" we finally figure out how to get into town and it DOES look like a story book place! YAY
So we go to this castle and see a bear in a moat and its really great and we're wandering around but we still don't have anywhere to stay.
Then we hear this music coming from inside a coffee place. We see a sign that says iced coffee and we're like YEAH WE WANT SOME ICED COFFEE! So we go in and as we're going in we realize the man is playing Bohemian Rhapsody on the piano! (another sign) So we sit down and enjoy some delicious beverages and put on our backpacks and venture out to find somewhere to stay, we also pass a puppet museum and make a mental note to go there tomorrow.
Eventually we round a corner and see Hostel Merlin or Merlin Hostel so we go in to czech it out. We're nervous because some hostels don't let guys and dolls room together, in which case we're springing for a hotel room. So we go in and we ask if we can stay together and they're like...yeah...you get a double its 500 crowns- which sounds like a lot but later we figure out that we actually only spent 10 euro each SCORE. So we get our room and everythings looking up! We drop off our backpacks and head out to eat. After consuming delicous pizza and beer we go to this pirate looking bar that actually wasnt as cool as it sounds - and who are the Sugarbabies anyway- and we venture to find somewhere else to drink- and we see this bar "horor bar" but I like to call it Troll bar because it looks like trolls could live there, as its underground. AND THIS PLACE IS GREAT. So after that lovely experience we go back to merlin and hit the hay.
But before we actually get to sleep, we spent a good 30 minutes or so laughing so hard about Ike and Tina Turner. Doing impressions, discussing their lives, etc.
Around 3am I wake up and run to the bathroom. It feels like I am dieing, like my stomach is being ripped out. When I get back in bed, and we're still drunk ps, Chris asks if I'm ok and I'm shaking/gripping the side of my bed. Now its probably just gas but it was on my right side so I was scared it was my appendix although I lied to Chris when he asked me that and said no because I'm a loser. So to make me feel better, Chris decides to tell me the story of Jenny from his In the Dark, Dark Room scary story book, but tells it in the voice of our waitress from the pizza place, which is like a weird whisper.
So we get up the next day and I'm feeling better and we go to the Puppet Museum. Oh my God. This is like, up 30 flights of winding stairs and we meet this woman whos like Oh I'm going to tell you the story of this museum then take you up...so she tells us a little, then starts talking through using a puppet! Now I don't know if anyone knows Chris and I together but I could not keep a straight face, and we had to talk back to her via puppets. So then we go up, and its this like attic just FULL OF PUPPETS. CREEPY CRAZY COOL. So we have an adventure there and its just grand and we get some coffee and stuff and we finally hit the road up the long hike to the train station. We get there and have 2 hours. So maybe we can take a bus to Buddapest? So we hike back down. And we can't. So we hike back up- see video by Chris Fanning for details of pain and terror.
We get back on the train to C. B. and guess what MORE SMELLY PEOPLE and this man sits next to me with a big rolled up thing that can only contain a body its so big. So we finally get to CB and inhale and as we run down the stairs, more gurillas with guns ... so we just run faster.
The rest of the time was good, each train got better and eventually ended with us going crazy on the train back to Salzburg.
We walk in my door at 1030 pm and knock on Carey and Cortneys door- and we here WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN. whoops...
And as they open the door we scream GET YOUR CLOTHES ON WE'RE GOING TO O'MALLEYS and we get 3 out of 4 to get out of bed, put their clothes on and come drink with us. And eat pizza.
The end.

"Whats something else you might ask someone in German?" "Are you single?"

So today we started school. And after the randomly tiring day we had yesterday it was nice to just get going on this shit, and I actually find the classes enjoyable/useful. And after 14 more classes I'll be done, and have 6 credits. BAM.

Yesterday consisted of salt mines, which we all agreed would have been more effective if we were high because we'd probably be climbing the walls. Who just said that?
We were like 2 miles underground, wearing these white suits and being put on this like train thing taken underground and hiking in the dark and I was convinced this is how I was going to die, and it felt slightly like someone was either going to shave my head or hand me kool aid next.

After that long day the CCCA association ended up stumbling into an Irish Pub, completely empty, with great food/beer and it was really nice to just relax.

Today I started classes and I like my Austrian Folk Art class , its super easy and reminds me of Mona Lisa Smile, I have obviously cast myself as Maggie Gyllenhall, but I LOVE my German class. A) its useful, each time I leave I am more and more equipped to be living here and B) its fun and my teacher is like a really young grad student Rahel who is super nice! Cassie Carey and I just sit there and talk in our "German" accents and she interprets that as enthusiasm, which it is, but its also funny because we are probably learning the most out of anyone in that class because we're not stressing about it, we're just playing around with it.

My ears are really plugged, I went to a pharmacy today and got drops but meanwhile my vertigo is in FULL SWING. whatever

AND CHRIS IS COMING TOMORROW! FOR A WEEK! AND TOMORROW IS HIS BDAY! WAHOOOO
Now the bells wont stop ringing, literally a good 10 minutes of bell ringing, what the hell. I feel like a crazy! I'm going to O'Mallys and getting a drink and a burger. PEACE BELLS

I will probably be arrested by the time I'm done here just for being myself.

Well I'm here in Salzburg and let me tell you its just great. Last night I went to this party in the square hosted by Red Bull because the Salzburg Football team won the big championship, and their mascot is the red bull. Anyway, it was great lots of drunk people screaming, kind of like if Fisher Players had its own city and soccer team. I got intoxicated fairly quickly as I hadn't really eaten anything all day and then I had some delicious pasta and let out a "we are wiiiiiine bottles" for good measure in the street which was probably inappropriate, as my other drunken friend duck and covered because there is a noise rule in the country of Austria.
Speaking of all things inappropriate and Austria, (I am now on my soapbox so be prepared) I am glad I will only be here for a few weeks, not that I don't love it- I DO- but I was reading something today about conduct and I just feel like there is a pax on Amanda Hackett in this country.
I've already expressed my disappointment about the noise after 10 rule- not that I really care, not that I plan on yelling in the street, but the fact that you can't sing Heatwave at 11:12 if you feel like it just makes me sad. They don't call me the mouth for nothing.
ALSO I was reading our manual today and theres this whole thing about how "even though there is a feminisit movement currently in the United States, striving for equality of women. Austria is not that far along, women play a different role in society. Keep this in mind during your time here. "
.
What?
Ok, I'm not an idiot. And I was completely aware that Austria is not exactly like the US with a hint of Sound of Music. However, I didn't think it was going to be that much of an issue. And hopefully its not.
I also think its funny that they say there is currently a feminist movement in the US striving for equality, as I feel the feminist movement was more in heat when...there were actually issues and instead of striving I feel most women are pretty much equal but thatst just me.
I think my last day here I'm going to just scream all night in the streets while holding a woman's equality sign.

Amanda goes to Europe for a month to become a "lady"

HAHAHA YEAH RIGHT.
Ok well here I am in Europe for a month and I am determined to write about my experience online because apparently overnight all of my friends got blogs and by all my friends I mean Jhole and Jenna so I should be keeping everyone up to date on the newest Eurotrash around right? Of course right?
Soooo I'm here in London until tomorrow when I go to Salzburg, Austria which is where I will be spending my time until the end of the semester (June 26) when that crazy broad Alice Hackett comes and we hit Switzarland and Paris, after showing her around Salzburg of course.

So lets talk about my flight. I'm sitting in JFK waiting for my flight to board to London and I'm seriously the only American around. I'm not being racist, literally everyone is from England. So as I sit there listening to the Wedding Singer soundtrack it occurs to me that I am potentially sitting across from a Jonas Brother. What one? I don't know! I don't know any of them. But he had a flannel shirt on , and from Chris Fanning's performance at Teddi this year wearing flannel as a Jonas Brother I know that they like the plaid, which is a plus in my book no matter what these people sound like because I like my men with a side of lumberjack. ANYWAYS so then I realize I could have seen this guy in a magazine and he looked spooked, but you know what? He looked like "why dont people know me?" which made me not like him a little. Don't Jonas Brothers travel in packs? Where were the other two? I decided this must be the "ugly Jonas" you hear tell about. So after that a couple double takes of people I could have sworn were my friends I got on the plaine. Of course I'm sitting next to two old people I don't know. But they were so nice to me.
They were British, I named them Mr. and Mrs Michael Cane- Cain? Because the old man sitting next to me sounded just like Michael Cane as most old British men do. His only downfall was that he smelled a little when he spoke to me but who am I to hold a typical British stereotype against him?
So after taxi ing for at least an hour ( remind me never to fly out of JFK at night again) we finally take off and all of a sudden I'm feeling a little barfy. And I can't find the barf bag. So I grab my blanket, close my eyes and sing somewhere over the rainbow to myself. Then I was fine! Thanks Dorothy! We're not even going to get into the dick that was sitting in front of me except to say that if you're going to push me down the aisle with your things you best be hitting on me or ordering me a drink and he was not, and then reclined his seat right away! JERK.
Before our meal came I was reading my Chelsea Handler book, which I find very entertaining, but was nervous that Michael Cain was reading it over my shoulder and could see that I was reading about the Persian man she was dating and how she hated giving blow jobs and that was just too personal for me to be sharing with my new adopted grandparents , we were clearly not to that level yet, so I stopped.
Ok so thats enough about the flight because after I ate I started to watch Revolutionary Road but popped 2 draumamine after dinner and fell asleep til the morning, so much so that I did not get a landing pass or whatever you get when you get to England because I was still asleep. Naturally I did not wake up til there was coffee in front of me and friends was on tv.
So after this we go to the hotel and walked around London while waiting for more AIFS people to get it, it was all a little blurry because I was so tired still but know this: The Jonas Brothers are touring in London right now. WHAT.
Most of the people on the trip are here now I think there is one more. We make our debut in Austria tomorrow after a hatefully early flight to Munich and then a looong ride to Salzburg- in which I will be listening to Sound of Music on my ipod

THINGS TO TELL PEOPLE
1. Matt, Jeff, Jenna: There is already a Michael Jackson musical here! Its called Thriller! My genius idea: down the toilet
2. Brad, Colleen, whoever was in Fame: I keep seeing posters for A little night music- wasn't that something in Fame? I'm not sure I knew that was real.
3. Chris/ Shane- today I heard the Austin Powers theme song in the streets of London and obviously thought of the past few weeks when it randomly came on all the time.
4. Kelsey Krueger- is that how you spell it? sorry- not that I think she reads this- went through the Circus of Picadilly hahaha and saw the Tower of London and thought of you both times! YAy

Ok peace out, write to you from Salzburg tomorrow or Monday

oh and yeah, I do keep singing Clash songs while I'm here. Thanks.

VDAY 11, and all things girlpower

I am currently directing the Vagina Monologues. Before I continue, if you do not know what this is I am going to need you to take a minute and just research it because there is nothing I hate more then people who talk about this subject thinking its just a bunch of feminists ranting about their pikachu's. It's not. And what I love about it is that the audience leaves almost with a breath of fresh air. They're like "hey, we just sat and listened to women orgasming on stage, or yelling about their frustration with their sexuality, and it wasn't awkward, because we were all in the same boat."
But what I've loved even more about it this year is that I got to watch my cast do that too. There were a TON of people that had never been in or seen the Vagina Monologues this year. And I like to feel that I had a hand in releasing their inner sense of empowerment, as many of them told me that they felt so much different then when they first joined. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I feel good about this year because not only are we donations to women who have experienced any type of violence, but we're empowering the audience, and ourselves as well.
Besides the experience I had as a director, I had a new one as an actress as well. I ended up performing the monologue "The Woman Who Loved To Make Vaginas Happy" this year. Its a funny monologue about a lawyer turned sex worker who only works with women. The best part is at the end when she demonstrates the different types of "moaning" she hears from women.
Now during my monologue I was nervous, but I got loosened up and I knew I had to make the end good. However, I did not think the audience was going to have such a great reaction to whatever I was doing. So into my third moan I was laughing too and I realized that I LOVE making people laugh, more than anything. I love playing diverse parts, and dramatic roles are always good, but I think there is no better thing for me to be doing than making people laugh.

My Bologna Has a First Name is O-S-C-A-R

1. Anne Hathaway is a great singer!
2. Underdogs can rule! I didn't think when I went to see Slumdog Millionaire that it was going to be a big deal, but afterwards, I saw how it could be, and it was. It makes me happy when the little guy wins, I was really bummed that Juno didn't do better last year, so this made me feel good.
3. I'm still not over Heath Ledger. A year later, and it still upsets me... but I'm really glad he won.
4. Beyonce should look into Broadway. Whatever I'm just saying.
5. If the world were a highschool, Kate Winslet would be the popular girl that doesn't try at all and is nice to everyone and therefore gains everyone's love and respect and wins prom queen.
6. I love anything in the form of a musical, so that musical stunt should be a yearly thing.
7. Hugh Jackman, I love you.
8. I've decided Amy Poehler should host the Oscars next year.
9. I love the personal shout outs to the best actress/actor nominees from other actors
10. Once again, like every year, the Oscars firm up how much I love a good montage.